Farm story............well kind features a pumpkin patch
Results 1 to 2 of 2
Like Tree4Likes
  • 4 Post By Superglidesport

Thread: Farm story............well kind features a pumpkin patch

  1. Top | #1
    Superglidesport's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:14 PM
    Littleton, MA
    Thanked 1,585 Times in 995 Posts

    Farm story............well kind features a pumpkin patch

    THE BEST COME-BACK LINE EVER, or so they say...
    Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
    Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night.
    The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
    The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop.
    'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around' he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
    In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.
    'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor.
    'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.' Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'
    He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? What ... is it midnight already?'
    The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10. and sent on his way.
    John Deere 3320
    eHydro, R4's, 300CX Loader, 61" HD Bucket
    JD Tooth Bar, Deluxe Hood Guard, Ken's Bolt-on Hooks
    485 Backhoe w. 18" HD Bucket
    Mid-PTO, Front 3 Point Hitch, 366 Front Blade
    Tarter 5' 3PH Tiller
    Frontier AP12F Forks

    John Deere 2032R
    R3's, 220R Loader, 57" HD Bucket
    Curtis Hard Side Cab & Heater
    62D Deck, iMatch Quick Hitch
    54 Snowblower
    Super HeavyHitch
    Little Wonder "Optimax" & JRCO Blower Buggy
    Fimco 60 Gallon 3PH Boomless Sprayer w. PTO Pump

  2. Remove Advertisements

  3. Top | #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Last Online
    04-11-2019 @ 09:17 AM
    SE Michigan
    Thanked 167 Times in 140 Posts
    hahaha....great story.

    2014 1025R - 60D 7-Iron MMM, H120 53" FEL/Ballast Box, Ken's hooks and Piranha toothbar, BB2048L Boxblade, 54" snowblade Quick-tatch w/full hydraulic lift/tilt.

    You don't have to outrun the bear......just the other campers

  4. Remove Advertisements


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts