Feel free to post clean funny jokes and pics in this thread. Whatcha got?
I'll start with a joke that has many variations. You may have heard this one before and my version may be a tad different.
A salesman was traveling by a farm and noticed a pig with a wooden leg and it really made him curious so he stopped and asked the farmer about it.
Salesman: Sir, I just noticed your pig has a wooden leg.
Farmer: Yeah, that is the best pig!!!! Let me tell you about him. A while back I was out on the back 40 and the tractor overturned and pinned me underneath. That pig heard me yelling for help. He came and dug me out.
Salesman: Wow! That is really something.
The farmer didn't answer why the pig was missing a leg, but the salesman left it at that and decided to just leave.
A few days passed and the salesman was in the same area going door to door and again noticed the same pig on the farm. This time the pig had two wooden legs. He saw the farmer outside so he stopped and inquired about the pig.
Salesman: Hi, I was in the area again and couldn't help but notice that your pig now has two wooden legs.
Farmer: Oh, yes, that is the best pig!!! He is really something!!! The other night, the house caught on fire while my family and I were all asleep. That pig broke the door down and pulled us all to safety before the fire department arrived to put out the fire. We surely would've burned alive or died of smoke inhalation if he hadn't saved us.
Salesman: Holy Cow, that is absolutely amazing!!
The salesman didn't get his question answered once again and since he had many more stops to make, he didn't have time to stay and get to the bottom of the real story on the pig. So, he said good bye to farmer and went on his way.
A week or so passed and the salesman was again passing through the area where that farm was located. As he was passing by, he noticed that this time the pig had no legs at all. This time he was determined to find out what the heck was going on. He stopped and questioned the farmer again.
Salesman: Hello, it's me again. I saw your pig just now and noticed that he now has no legs at all.
Farmer: That is the best pig!!! I tell ya. That is absolutely the best pig!!! A couple days ago, little Timmy was out walking in the woods and a rattlesnake was about to strike him. Just as that snake was readying to bite, suddenly, out of nowhere that pig ran in and grabbed the snake by the tail and threw it with his mouth. Timmy was saved.
Salesman: My goodness, that really is a great pig!!! But, sir, ok, I understand how the pig has saved you all from sudden death or injury and that is wonderful and all , but that still doesn't explain why everytime I have come by here that pig is missing another leg. Now he has no legs at all.
Farmer: Oh that. (He chuckled a bit) Well anyone knows you don't eat a pig that good all at once.