Obituary(s) of Common Sense!
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    Captain Hook Kennyd's Avatar
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    Obituary(s) of Common Sense!

    From this link: Obituary of Common Sense !

    Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.
    Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the Millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
    For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn't always fair.
    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
    A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and new math.
    But his health declined when he became infected with the "if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal legislation.
    He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn't inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
    Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.
    As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low-flow toilets, smart guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and mandatory air bags.
    Finally, when told that the homeowners association restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he breathed his last.
    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason. His three stepbrothers survive him: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.
    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
    Author Unknown







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    Captain Hook Kennyd's Avatar
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    Another great one

    An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Brilliant !!
    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    - Why the early bird gets the worm;
    - Life isn't always fair;
    - And maybe it was my fault.


    Common Sense
    lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).


    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened
    his condition.


    Common Sense
    lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.


    He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a
    student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.


    Common Sense
    lost the will to
    live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.


    Common Sense
    took a beating
    when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.


    Common Sense
    finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.


    Common Sense
    was preceded in death,
    -by his parents, Truth and Trust,
    -by his wife, Discretion,
    -by his daughter, Responsibility,
    -and by his son, Reason.


    He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
    - I Know My Rights
    - I Want It Now
    - Someone Else Is To Blame
    - I'm A Victim
    - Pay me for Doing Nothing


    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
    Kenny

    -John Deere 3720 Deluxe Cab TLB
    FEL, MMM, Artillian 42" Forks and Modular Grapple, I-Match, Ballast Box, Trac-Vac 854 (for sale) and lots of other STUFF.
    -John Deere 455 w/60" MMM


    Bolt on Grab Hooks and other cool stuff are now for sale!!

    Visit our YouTube Channel

    My Equipment:
    John Deere 3720 Deluxe Cab, 300cx FEL, 366 Front Blade, 59" Front Snowblower, Ballast Box
    Artillian 3K Forks, Grapple, Front-Hoe Bucket
    John Deere 455, 60" MMM

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