Can't help on the height issue, but you can add a 3/8" NPT restrictor to one of the swing circuit hoses to slow it down.
Look in there...you'll see the two hoses coming from the two swing cylinders going to the valve, you can add one inline there. Sorry I do not have a picture now.Where would that restrictor hook in?
I struggled with mine for what seemed like hours till I got them correct. What a PITA!Glad to hear it worked!
FIY: I also spent about an hour adjusting the mounting cams on the backhoe rockshaft connection point. They are the ones in your second picture that are locked in place with two bolts. moved them twice to get the correct position and now the pins slide in easily.