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Hey all

Had to post this. If you don't have a will please get one. And if you did it on your own, make sure someone else has a copy.

I have been dealing with a mess (My wife's mom passing) now for 3 days, literally tons of time on it. It's basically about the house her and her husband had. Now if he sells, he wants to because he does not need a home like that, rightfully my wife and her bro would get some. Her mom of course wanted her hubby to have it all. Will is lost. Her mom told us all that was in it - it was simple and made sense, I was actually the executor, but she never sent a copy of the will like I asked. WHAT A HUGE MESS FOR HIM....

Sad. We will of course ask for nothing because I knew what she wanted. But it has to go to probate, etc.

Just a sad rant here...
 

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I am sorry for your loss. I am going through this with my parents estate right now and I agree that a will is something we all need. I want to post some advice but I need more coffee first. Between crooked lawyers, honest lawyer, and entitled punks, I have much to say, if I can stand it all.
 

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Went though a terrible time when my FIL died, and he had a Will. I tell ya something else, you cannot afford to die.
The biggest thing for me was when we got the call from Social Security wanting my FIL's last check back. My FIL died on the 28th of the month but evidently you have to live the full month. We did get $100 from the VA.
 

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^ is crap right there, they should at least prorate it... But I guess that would require our gov to do math though.
 

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I think things vary from state to state in some respects. In Texas, if the spouse is also the parent of the kids, then if no will was there, a person can file an affidavit of heirship and if the siblings agree, all will stay with the surviving parent. If this is a second marriage for the party that died, and the offspring of the deceased are not the children of the surviving spouse, it creates a new can of worms, that only serves to make lawyers money. Even with a will, if offspring decide to contest it, it can get ugly quickly. Death brings out the worst in some people.

I've had a will since buying a home, and it leaves everything to my mom. With her health, I am sure that I will have to have a new will drawn up soon. So that will bring into play another issue. No idea who I will leave the place to. It seems those that leave things for the care and benefit of the surviving critters get thrown out and the Gov't takes it. :nunu:

But yes, a well drawn up will, and an original in a fireproof box in the house, and a copy in a safety deposit box is essential. Putting the original in a safety deposit box can be risky. Might have to go through probate to get to the items in the safety deposit box. Dealing with these things can be an education on their own.

Thanks for reminding everyone of something so important! And for those of you that have put it off, GET IT DONE!!
 

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I would have to agree. We went thru a mess of crap after my uncle passed. My dad was supposed to have been the executor, with his life insurance policy going to his 3 kids and the rest of his belongings going to the nieces and nephews. Well, through some clever scheming, his no good for nothing girlfriend weaseled her way into getting everything... Sad situation. As was said, definitely make sure someone else has a copy, preferably the person you what to be the executor.
 

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It's all a big learning curve and unfortunately most get to learn after it's too late.
 

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^ is crap right there, they should at least prorate it... But I guess that would require our gov to do math though.
My dad died on the 28 of February. Since he died before the entire month was completed, they took his check back too. I knew it would happen. When I went to the bank to see what was needed to be done, since I was already on the account, the bank teller informed me that SS would take back the last check, so to make sure none of dad's outstanding checks were going to need those funds to be covered.
 

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Be careful, Bubber. Your mom may be the healthy one, but she could be killed in a car crash or have a heart attack tomorrow. Make sure any banking accounts are at least set up with someone designated as "Pay on Death", (POD). I have my mom on mine, that way. Not a joint account, but if she brings in a death certificate on me, and her legal ID, then she has access to the funds. No probate required.

Can you tell that I have lived through a lot of this?
 

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My parents have wills, but we are in the process of helping mom move everything into her name and not my parents jointly. It is really a sad game that you have to play to get ready for someone to pass away.
That about sums it up.
 

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Be careful, Bubber. Your mom may be the healthy one, but she could be killed in a car crash or have a heart attack tomorrow. Make sure any banking accounts are at least set up with someone designated as "Pay on Death", (POD). I have my mom on mine, that way. Not a joint account, but if she brings in a death certificate on me, and her legal ID, then she has access to the funds. No probate required.

Can you tell that I have lived through a lot of this?
I hear you. My sister is the responsible one out of all of us and we are adding her to. Everything that we are doing is under the guidance of an attorney in their town.
 

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We've had a will ever since the kids started to come along, had to make sure custody was taken care of. We've updated since they all left home now. We also have a Personal Directive for each of us, I want to make it easier for my wife to pull the plug if she has to. We had a PD for my Mom who just passed, it made health care decisions so much easier for us when she could not make those decisions herself. With Mom's account, it was in joint with my brother, when she passed he wrote a cheque for me and my sister for our share leaving enough active in the account to close out financial affairs over the next year. That all works if you can trust your siblings, I'm blessed with good family.
 

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Every state has different laws, so hire counsel. It seems that when we go often our wishes die with us, depends on heirs and the lawyers. If you really want someone to have something give it to them before you go or risk that it wont go as intended. The one with the best lawyer wins. If an hier is being a jerk, consider removing them from all wills. Make sure those who were there for you towards the end are provided for first. No one is entitled simply because they share DNA.

I wrote my will recently, now other lawyers says it is outdated. Who shall I believe?

Get many recommendations before hiring a lawyer. Then get some more. My folks got bad advice from their financial advisor, hired a total crook of a lawyer, got took for over $100K and despite her not doing 10% of the job, she was able to petition orphans court for more money, TWICE. Court gave her additional $8K, TWICE! So, a contract is not a meeting of the minds when court can redefine a contract, overpay a crooked lawyer who totally failed to do even a fraction of the job they contracted to do. Not to mention her absurd rate of $450 per hour, while she decides how many hours she gets to charge. Your entire estate and family are at the will of a total scumbag theif. Yes, my honest lawyer called her a "thief" She even commited perjury and tried to sell the home place out from under me, knowing it was contrary to my folks wishes.

Beware of the book writing, TV show, radio show, multi state lawyers. They are often egotistical, vengeful theives drunk on power.

I had to hire a lawyer to fight the crooked lawyer. By the grace of God I found a reasonably priced lawyer of highest ethics and integrity. We won, and I purchased my boyhood home which my father built. Had the thief lawyer prevailed I cant post how it would've gone, but I can tell you it would not be good.

More later, maybe.
 

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Hey all

Had to post this. If you don't have a will please get one. And if you did it on your own, make sure someone else has a copy.

I have been dealing with a mess (My wife's mom passing) now for 3 days, literally tons of time on it. It's basically about the house her and her husband had. Now if he sells, he wants to because he does not need a home like that, rightfully my wife and her bro would get some. Her mom of course wanted her hubby to have it all. Will is lost. Her mom told us all that was in it - it was simple and made sense, I was actually the executor, but she never sent a copy of the will like I asked. WHAT A HUGE MESS FOR HIM....

Sad. We will of course ask for nothing because I knew what she wanted. But it has to go to probate, etc.

Just a sad rant here...
You didn't say whose name(s) the title was in. If it was joint tenancy, the answer is simple. It goes to her husband...requires a severance of joint tenancy, you can do it yourself (at least in this state). Takes an affidavit from tax commission that estate taxes (if any) have been paid, a death certificate, and a trip to the court house. If it was in her name alone, then it will pass, without a will, in accordance with the state's intestate succession statute...which probably will require probate.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Thanks all for sharing these stories, WOW I'm sure not alone.

To me, their problem was when they did do the will was not thinking the surviving spouse would sell the house. The assumption was they would live there until they both died. However to me her husband is smart, will live in a new 36' RV, and get rid of a mortgage. He will want to retire in 3 years or so. Just makes sense.

One thing I do know, none of us were to get anything until the both died. That was truly the bottom line. Good thing for him is we see that and knew my wife's moms wishes 100%, unfortunately the other does not.
 

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When my Mom died in 2010; my meds were out of whack and the hassle of dealing with probate was an added stressor I didn't need. So I hired a shyster estate lawyer who charged $250 an hour as I recall. He blew through his retainer and did additional work I didn't authorize and then he had the gall to bill me for his unauthorized work. I fired his ass on the spot; but he had to file a motion with the court that he was withdrawing from the case with no reason given. I couldn't let the court know that he is a thief.

Then to make matters worse I discovered Colorado makes it relatively easy to do the probate process (simple estates) just by filling out some forms. So I ended up paying $250 an hour for work that could have been done by a $10 an hour file clerk. :mad: I ended up doing the rest of the probate process myself; but our worthless county kept giving me grief over the forms not being filled out to their satisfaction; though there wasn't much to them.

When my in-laws died, my wife handled it, and the county they died in didn't give her any grief and breezed through the process.

I'm an only child, so I had no siblings to fight with and Mom outlived anyone who may have contested her will. My wife has a brother and they get along well; so she did the BS paperwork and he did all the crap of disposing of their parent's belongings and some minor repairs on their move-in ready house.

Mom had POD (Payable On Death) on her bank account, which made life easy for me.

My suggestion...have a will, durable and medical powers of attorney with someone you trust, and check with your state to find out how much hassle you'll encounter before hiring a worthless POS slimebag overpriced dipschitt attorney. If you can do it yourself like one can in Colorado...do so. Lawyers suck and they should be avoided like someone with Ebola if at all possible. Shakespeare was right, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." Let's kill all the lawyers - Shakespeare Quotes
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Well it's getting worse here, however I knew it would, spent all day again on a letter to the lawyer, her hubby, on the phone, in discussions with someone I know has experience here, etc. WOW. Fun stuff... However I wanted it all done, I want a relaxing weekend.
 
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