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It has always amazed me over the years in forums like this and pickups etc. I just can’t believe all the guys who need “permission” or have to beg and barter to buy themselves a tractor or truck. Reminds me of little kids wanting a toy at the store but their Mommy won’t buy it.
I sometimes wonder the same thing. Most of this stuff is just "talk".

My wife and I have a partnership. We actually sit down and go over a budget and set goals. If either of us want to make a major purchase, we plan it.

The answer has never been no. Sometimes the conclusion has been 'not right now'.

We both know what the next major purchase is going to be. A Toyota 4 Runner, for her. She has been dropping hints for a while that she would like a 4 Runner as her next vehicle. Her car is one payment away from being paid off, so we have started the planning stage. Her current vehicle is in great shape physically and mechanically. The first part of the decision is it worth trading or do we just keep it as a daily runner, keeping the miles off of the Tundra & the new vehicle.

The Tundra is 10 years old as of last month. When the last wheel falls off of it or it just won't do what I need it for, I'll start considering a new truck.

The reason I will get to stay in the 'I'm not getting a new tractor' group is I indulged a bit and over-bought.

When we move to Kentucky and were discussing property I told her I wanted enough property to buy a bigger tractor. "How big of a tractor?" I just grinned. Lets see how much property we can by and go from there.

It is still a fun game to play.

I want a bigger toy.
Why?
Cause.
Are you ever going to grow up?
No. If I quit playing then I'll get old and cranky.
You are already cranky, I don't need to deal with old on top of that.
 

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coaltrain, I think you may be missing the real deal. In our household my wife's opinions/decisions hold the same weight as mine.
Same in our house.
 

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My wife and I have a partnership. We actually sit down and go over a budget and set goals. If either of us want to make a major purchase, we plan it.
Isn't that how it's supposed to work. :thumbup1gif:


The answer has never been no. Sometimes the conclusion has been 'not right now'.
That right there has saved our a$$ more than once.
 

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coaltrain, I think you may be missing the real deal. In our household my wife's opinions/decisions hold the same weight as mine.
I always sit down with her to to over major financial stuff. It’s just that she wants nothing to do with any of it. But I do force an opinion out or her and try to get her to help make those big decisions.

My point was that I never had to “ask” to buy a truck or a tractor.
 

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Isn't that how it's supposed to work. :thumbup1gif:



That right there has saved our a$$ more than once.
Yes, I agree 100% with this, we make ALL of our big decisions together. And yes, we have had to say "not right now" many times over the years. We were wanting a small tractor for several years before I finally bought one, that was the day when WE decided that it could be done. That being said, I am not getting another tractor, not right now. :thumbup1gif:
 

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Man does not live by bread alone, nor iron bars a cage. "Sometimes you need to buy something just because you want it!" (Me).
My wife never really says much about anything I buy. She is more frugal about buying stuff for herself than she is about buying something for me. The other day, she was looking at winter coats and found a coat she liked at Lands End and it was $400, but she wouldn't buy it until it was on sale. I asked her what the maximum price was for the coat and she said "$250" and when I asked her how she determined that amount, she replied "Because that's what it is worth".......She spent decades in the retail fashion industry and knows FAR more about this than I do so I deferred.

Then I looked on Monday at the Lands End site and sure enough, the coat was on sale for Cyber Monday. I ordered it without telling her and I know she will be happy. I recently ordered her new "Duck Shoes" against her insistence that her old shoes were just fine for working in the yard. I pointed out they had holes in the soles and she said "But that are comfortable and I don't work outside when its wet, so I don't care." I ordered her new shoes anyways............

The ONLY time I bought something which made her mad was when I bought a new Renegade Freightliner Semi toter home and 48' racing trailer. She was never crazy about me going 250 mph and understandably so as its dangerous. But I promised not to do that again and everything calmed down........

I defer completely to her at regarding the stuff she wants for our house. Whatever she wants is fine.........and our taste and preferences are very similar and I really don't care about the details as she does.

One thing I don't get is the "Vindictive Spending" which goes on in some couples. When one person buys something or spends a certain amount of money, the other person buys something of similar or greater value to "keep things even". If people keep score like that, they are headed for trouble and its likely going to inflict a major wound in the relationship. While many people keep separate bank accounts and have their own arrangements for paying bills, when you start identifying money as "it's mine and not yours" when you are married, that's not the best long term approach.

Very few things ever "totally balance out" when measuring the effort or contribution of two people, which is why so many business partnerships have problems. One person feels they work more than the other, or that more of the companies success is due to their effort verses the partners. The moment such "internal accounting" is occurring, someone is going to be unhappy or feel they are not getting their "fair share" and this usually leads to trouble.

When you betray trust, regardless of how or why, its a breach which is often fatal in the long run for the relationship. It might take some time, but once you break the trust, the damage is done and usually, it undermines the relationship from that day forward. It eats away at the foundation and it builds, often quietly until one day it surfaces and then the real long term damage is most likely done.

People are funny, you can have a couple with differing political beliefs, different views of religion or personal faith and they can seem to get along very well, overall. But bring into the relationship two very different views about spending and money and this usually will drive a wedge which can be fatal to the relationship if they allow the differences to build and don't come to an agreement about how money is going to be dealt with.

We have one long standing general rule, no debt to buy something unless its a major purchase. If there is an item we want, we set aside the money to get it. I know not everyone can do that and there are times when the use of others money through credit offers, such as the 0% from Deere makes sense, but credit has to be used very responsibly or it becomes a major burden. It seems as many people age, the "wants" become less important than the "needs" and buying new things is less appealing than it once was.

Also, many people like the familiarity of what they have and don't want to change "just because". You come to appreciate what you have more than what you don't have and the appeal of new things seems to diminish over time. I think that's also part of why the longer couples are together, the longer they are likely to remain together, as they get comfortable with each other and realize all of the work which went into getting both of you where you are.

That's one of the reasons I am a big believer in cash for paying for things. To me, cash seems real and simply swiping a card or signing a future promise to pay isn't as real in realizing the cost of the objects as counting out the actual money to pay for things. Recently at best Buy, we bought a new HD television and laptop computer in the same transaction. The clerk at Best Buy actually called the manager over when I paid for the total purchase in cash because in his words "I normally don't collect that much cash in an entire day as everyone pays with credit or debit". That's how I prefer to do things, although I did write a check for the tractor and implements as that would have been a bit much to pay for in cash............

Even with Deere's 0% finance offer, Mrs. Bear didn't want to take on the debt, which is fine. She said "You saved the money to pay for it and I would prefer to not deal with them and a monthly bill, etc." I can make all the arguments in the world about the cost of capital and using the leverage on the 0% Deere offer, etc., but bottom line was she was happier having the entire matter done and paid for and moving forward so that is what we did, and that is fine with me...........

This thread is as much "tongue in cheek" and about the individual inner workings in each couples relationships as anything else. We don't want to see anyone get into trouble and one of the most common sources of arguments and issues in relationships is money......which is probably partly how this entire thread got started.

Plus someone wasn't getting a new tractor, for whatever reason and here we are.......:good2:
 

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I always sit down with her to to over major financial stuff. It’s just that she wants nothing to do with any of it. But I do force an opinion out or her and try to get her to help make those big decisions.

My point was that I never had to “ask” to buy a truck or a tractor.
I'd bet most of us are 50/50 in the actual decision making. When I say I do the finances here, it just means I handle the paperwork part. Using the spouse as an excuse for non-purchase is just a charade and pretends to place blame rather than stating outright that you know you can't afford or justify the purchase at the time.
 

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It has always amazed me over the years in forums like this and pickups etc. I just can’t believe all the guys who need “permission” or have to beg and barter to buy themselves a tractor or truck. Reminds me of little kids wanting a toy at the store but their Mommy won’t buy it.
I have to agree. My wife and I are a team. When the opportunity presented itself to convert an acre of our hayfield to a different crop, it was her who pushed the idea along. Our place is zoned for exclusive farm use, so by utilizing the ground as a farm our property tax savings are significant. In the last 30 years hay hasn’t produced much income since we’ve basically leased the ground out to a local farmer. We don’t have to cut, bale or sell it either, but I did work the ground up and plant it.

We sat down and worked out all the details together to proceed with converting an acre to an irrigated crop. It soon became obvious that our current 790 was not going to be big enough. She just said figure out what you need and go get it. I started out looking at a 5M series, but found the 4R would do what we needed. We’ve never felt like we had to beg each other for what we wanted or needed. We just discuss the pros and cons and either move forward or not.
 

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My wife hasn’t really shot any guns, and I’ve noticed that lately she’s been watching a show called “how to get away with murder” :hide:
Episode one, the prisons are full of people who were convinced they were smarter than the police......and very, very few "get away with it" and even if they escape the punishment during this life, God sees all..........and eternity is a VERY LONG TIME.......(and I don't like extreme heat....)

The Lifetime's, "FYI" and "O" and other such channels with a female audience focus sure seem to like what South Park so aptly calls "Murder Porn"........

Informative Murder Porn - Wikipedia


https://southpark.cc.com/full-episodes/s17e02-informative-murder-porn
 

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I'd bet most of us are 50/50 in the actual decision making. When I say I do the finances here, it just means I handle the paperwork part. Using the spouse as an excuse for non-purchase is just a charade and pretends to place blame rather than stating outright that you know you can't afford or justify the purchase at the time.
Now that makes more sense to me.
 

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I'd bet most of us are 50/50 in the actual decision making. When I say I do the finances here, it just means I handle the paperwork part. Using the spouse as an excuse for non-purchase is just a charade and pretends to place blame rather than stating outright that you know you can't afford or justify the purchase at the time.
No one would do THAT! :lolol:

Fastest way to get rid of a salesman on a car lot is to tell them "I'm just looking and I don't have my wife's permission to be here."

Sadly, there is a lot of truth in you statement.

I suppose in some cases I am guilty as accused. In my defense, I was just joking. I will admit that I have also confessed my transgression to her.

Usually this happens when I get caught by sales while drooling over something. I know that the purchase isn't practical. Sometimes I use the cop-out excuse that the financial committee would never approve funding. :hide:
 

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Geez...
I came here looking to commiserate with the rest of the downtrodden "old tractor" owners and what do I encounter???
Pages of pictures of minty new 2 through 4 series for sale on the dealers lot...
I was feeling like my little tractor was junk because I actually had to pull a couple wrenches out to fix a little coolant leak and HAD TO go somewhere to persuade myself to stick with the little stinker. Sheesh!:banghead:
 

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This thread is as much "tongue in cheek" and about the individual inner workings in each couples relationships as anything else. We don't want to see anyone get into trouble and one of the most common sources of arguments and issues in relationships is money......which is probably partly how this entire thread got started.
Not here, we don't have any. :munch: :lol:
 
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