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Discussion Starter · #203 ·
I really do hope she finds the help she needs. Do you know if she has family? Is there a lot of activity at the home? Does your community or county have good mental health services?

You can PM me if you need any further assistance with this.
She has family. I do see activity at her house. She divorced a number of years ago. I'm not sure if she has a new boyfriend or not. I just think she is somewhat an angry person who has nothing better to do than to criticize others. In the grand scheme of things (and with what's going on in this crazy world), t's really no big deal for us. We just mind our own business. If she would show some friendliness, I'd be quick to offer to spiff up her driveway. I'm glad that everyone concurs that the 1025r is not that noisy. I was beginning to wonder. When I'm out there, I have headphones on and my iPod going with music or podcasts, so I'm not always aware of the tractor noise.

A few years ago, we noticed a large grader (bobcat type machine) parked on her driveway. She had some hardpack delivered and the guy spread it and graded her driveway. The shared section needed work, but did she have her hired person go do that? NOOOOO. That really pi$$ed off my friendly neighbor and us. Why didn't she do that?... or at least pick up the phone and discuss it? We would have either given her some money to share the cost, or better yet, offered to use our tractors to do the work - saving all of us money. She acts like she has no obligation to work on the shared section and leaves it up to us. Funny thing is... her ex is a lawyer. She should know her responsibilities to share in the maintenance costs - as ordered by our property deeds.

Man, I tell you... I will NEVER EVER share a driveway again with anyone. It opens up TOO many potential friction points with those who share it... no matter how friendly the people may be... It's simply not worth it. Find a different piece of land to build on! As they say... fences make good neighbors!
 

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I have a co worker that has a cabin on a private road. There’s 6 - 8 cabins on that road. There’s lots of issues with that. Some are fine with needing a high clearance 4wd , and are fine with branches rubbing on their truck and dont see any need to mow or grade until they are getting stuck on a regular basis . Others think it needs to be paved and should be plowed every time a flake of snow falls. Why a road like that is private and doesn’t get turned over to the town is beyond me. But being private does keep outsiders away. I’m on the end of a town rd and get people walking pets, riding atvs and cant do anything about it as it’s a public area. For the most part it ist a problem. But there’s been a few times when I had to keep an eye on what they were up to and wished I could have told them to get The hell off my road.
 

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Discussion Starter · #205 ·
I have a co worker that has a cabin on a private road. There’s 6 - 8 cabins on that road. There’s lots of issues with that. Some are fine with needing a high clearance 4wd , and are fine with branches rubbing on their truck and dont see any need to mow or grade until they are getting stuck on a regular basis . Others think it needs to be paved and should be plowed every time a flake of snow falls. Why a road like that is private and doesn’t get turned over to the town is beyond me. But being private does keep outsiders away. I’m on the end of a town rd and get people walking pets, riding atvs and cant do anything about it as it’s a public area. For the most part it ist a problem. But there’s been a few times when I had to keep an eye on what they were up to and wished I could have told them to get The hell off my road.
That would be tough having that many neighbors, all with differing views. I'm guessing the town won't take it over because they don't want the on-going maintenance expense... take as much money from tax payers as possible and keep am much in their coffers for as long as they can. But there should be an option for the homeowners to petition the town to do so. Or at least allow for a vote on it.
 

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Have you tried befriending her?

I know it sounds silly but it could be your best course of action. We have someone in our area that is like that. They have called the county on a few people over the years that they don't like for anything they can and continue to so so. One being a friend of mine before I bought my house so I sort of knew what I was getting into. They even started in on me when I first moved in.

Now I'm not saying invite her to the family bbq. Thats weird and awkward. It starts easy, a smile and wave when you see her. After awhile if she starts waving back, stop and make small talk when you see her out and about doing yard work as you drive by. Then work your way in from there. Be neighborly.

Some people are just angry with their lives. For one reason or another and they feel the need to aim it at something or someone. You can dig your heels in and fight back but its likely they will just push back harder. Its easy for them to fight someone they aren't familiar with because they don't have a reason to second guess themselves. Its easy to hate that guy Tom up the street, but not Tom the friendly neighbor up the street whom they have a nice chat with from time to time.

Diplomacy is sometimes the best option even if we don't want it to be. They are our neighbors whether we like it or not. They probably aren't going to move, and you probably don't want to move. So its definitely worth giving a shot.
 

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That would be tough having that many neighbors, all with differing views. I'm guessing the town won't take it over because they don't want the on-going maintenance expense... take as much money from tax payers as possible and keep am much in their coffers for as long as they can. But there should be an option for the homeowners to petition the town to do so. Or at least allow for a vote on it.
I think the origin owner had a couple hundred acres , and sold off 40s and kept a easment for himself, but now that the properties have changed hands a few times it’s a mess. I’m pretty sure with today’s laws if you split up a piece of land like that, the seller/ develope would have to put in a proper road and the the town would take over the road.
 

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Discussion Starter · #211 ·
Have you tried befriending her?

I know it sounds silly but it could be your best course of action. We have someone in our area that is like that. They have called the county on a few people over the years that they don't like for anything they can and continue to so so. One being a friend of mine before I bought my house so I sort of knew what I was getting into. They even started in on me when I first moved in.

Now I'm not saying invite her to the family bbq. Thats weird and awkward. It starts easy, a smile and wave when you see her. After awhile if she starts waving back, stop and make small talk when you see her out and about doing yard work as you drive by. Then work your way in from there. Be neighborly.

Some people are just angry with their lives. For one reason or another and they feel the need to aim it at something or someone. You can dig your heels in and fight back but its likely they will just push back harder. Its easy for them to fight someone they aren't familiar with because they don't have a reason to second guess themselves. Its easy to hate that guy Tom up the street, but not Tom the friendly neighbor up the street whom they have a nice chat with from time to time.

Diplomacy is sometimes the best option even if we don't want it to be. They are our neighbors whether we like it or not. They probably aren't going to move, and you probably don't want to move. So its definitely worth giving a shot.
We've actually tried many times to befriend her over the years. My wife has made her cookies, banana bread, etc., and she still acts like the world owes her some sort of huge favor. I don't know... there are numerous issues we've had that will take too long to explain. So we just try to sit quiet and do our own thing. However, I'm NOT going to stop using my tractor to maintain my property. I'll just respect the noise concern and do it during reasonable daily hours.
 

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I’m a mostly retired land surveyor and most people that have shared driveways get along. It can also be a serious problem. One very long drawn out boundary dispute I worked on a shared driveway was part of the problem.
 
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Shared driveways should also have maintenance specifications and property owners obligations spelled out in writing, either by deed or a follow on agreement that the local authorities recognize as binding.

Our shared driveway does not have such an agreement, and it delayed my closing when buying. I had to tell the VA I was willing to be responsible for the entire 3/4 mile private road, which is shared with another home at the halfway point and a farmer, in order to complete a VA loan.

And yes, I've been maintaining and improving it on my own.
 
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Shared driveways should also have maintenance specifications and property owners obligations spelled out in writing, either by deed or a follow on agreement that the local authorities recognize as binding.

Our shared driveway does not have such an agreement, and it delayed my closing when buying. I had to tell the VA I was willing to be responsible for the entire 3/4 mile private road, which is shared with another home at the halfway point and a farmer, in order to complete a VA loan.

And yes, I've been maintaining and improving it on my own.
Our title agreement, along with all others on the driveway, specifies that it is all property owners responsibility to “maintain” the easement.
So far I’m the only one who does any work on it but I have lately just kept to my area and they can deal with the rest or pay me. Last time we all paid for rock(which I got a deal on) and I had to take the day off and apply all of it down. Coordinate with the trucking company and my wife even had to deal with the billing process. I said never again unless I get paid. A lot of people don’t understand the process of these things and are blissfully ignorant. I found that out with some of my neighbors. They simply don’t have the facilities to deal with it thinking their money is green. But in all reality it’s the guy with the green tractor who does all the work while their UPS drivers haul ass up and down it and they walk ther garbage cans out to the road without a glance at me. Had a mess of potholes I dealt with but I left the other ones alone. Why do I feel guilty for not doing the whole driveway? At this point I’m at the do me stage and they can go out there with shovels and fill their own potholes. I don’t even want to get into snow removal. Next place I get I will NOT be sharing a driveway on any way with anyone. It’s a no win situation
 

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I’m fortunate that we have good neighbors who moved in a month after we did. He's a talented mechanic and put a lift in his garage to do custom work on premium vehicles. While I take care of the driveway he’s taken care of several pop up car issues for my wife and kids that would have required tows and turned the repairs in hours to days rather than weeks. I may have the better end of the neighborly kindness. :)
(I do pay for all parts and adult lubricants)
 

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However, I'm NOT going to stop using my tractor to maintain my property. I'll just respect the noise concern and do it during reasonable daily hours.
Being a good neighbor in my opinion is a few things - 1) following the local noise ordnances 2) respecting property lines, 3) keeping your property maintained in a way to not negatively impact your neighbors property value while still being able to enjoy your property the way you want to. 4) when having the occasional party (2-3 times a year?) that might be a bit rowdy invite the neighbors you've got a good relationship with (we always did/do) and give them all notice with a phone number to call if there's a problem and to show that you ultimately respect their quality of life as well. 5) Friendly waves.

Being a good neighbor is not limiting yourself for normal activities such as maintenance that involves equipment that makes noise, so long as it's not being operated regularly outside of the noise ordnance hours, which just about every township/locality/municipality have. Obviously if you like your neighbors and they are having a wedding on their property, if you can avoid cutting the grass that's a once in a blue moon thing to respect them, but otherwise, do as you wish, when you need/want to. If they have a problem and it's not reasonable... well, that's their problem and not yours.....
 
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