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Discussion Starter #1
We'll see if this works...

What is the worst excuse you've ever heard? It can be for anything, and, it HAS to be a stupid excuse.

What have you heard?
 

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Gizmo2 said it was because he was born that way. :mocking:
 

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A troublesome employee, who already had a history of not showing up for work and not calling in, took 2 days off, without calling in again.
When he returned to work that Wednesday, naturally he knew he'd have to come to my office and explain his absence, his excuse was "My goldfish had an abcessed tooth and I had to carry him to the dentist".
I told him to go home and don't come back without a letter from this dentist.
My problems with him were solved, but, I have to admit he was quite a clever liar. :laugh:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
A troublesome employee, who already had a history of not showing up for work and not calling in, took 2 days off, without calling in again.
When he returned to work that Wednesday, naturally he knew he'd have to come to my office and explain his absence, his excuse was "My goldfish had an abcessed tooth and I had to carry him to the dentist".
I told him to go home and don't come back without a letter from this dentist.
My problems with him were solved, but, I have to admit he was quite a clever liar. :laugh:
Similar...
An employee showed up late. The boss asked why. The employee said " I took a dump this morning and my****** would not close, so I showed up late" :lolol: needless to say, he was fired and is now probably living off of our money....

Btw, one of my friends told me this, but it is still a stupid excuse
 

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Having had been in management for the best part of my career, I believe I've heard near 'bout every excuse under the stars, at some point.
I even had a brand new employee show up an hour or two late the first 3 days of his employment. His excuse? "His car keys needed daylight to shine on them before they would stiffen-up enough to work the ignition switch in his car".
He was easy to let go.......
 

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This is more funny than stupid, but thought I would share.

I have a stick, about 2 foot long; about 1/2 inch in diameter, 2 foot long with a small branch at the end at about a 45 degree angle...I call it my BBQ stick, and I use it to rearrange the coals and wood chips in my BBQ grill and my smoker. I went out one morning, and found it lying on the patio broken in two pieces. I knew my 6 year old Grandson had been out there playing, so I rounded him up and asked him directly:

"Jarrett, I found my BBQ stick broken. Who do you think broke it?"

He replied, without hesitation, "It was a T-Rex!"
 

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This is more funny than stupid, but thought I would share.

I have a stick, about 2 foot long; about 1/2 inch in diameter, 2 foot long with a small branch at the end at about a 45 degree angle...I call it my BBQ stick, and I use it to rearrange the coals and wood chips in my BBQ grill and my smoker. I went out one morning, and found it lying on the patio broken in two pieces. I knew my 6 year old Grandson had been out there playing, so I rounded him up and asked him directly:

"Jarrett, I found my BBQ stick broken. Who do you think broke it?"

He replied, without hesitation, "It was a T-Rex!"
Quite possible, as "T-Rex's" have been known to roam the plains of Oklahoma on dark nights. :lol:
 

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One I hate the most. Ask "why did you do that?" Answer, "I don't know".
 

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I had an employee claim he did not know he had to actually show up for work.

We fired him, he applied for unemployment. When I was contacted by GA DOL he stated to them he was never told he had to show up for work. The lady doing the "investigation" asked me; "did you tell him showing up for work was a condition of his employment"? I lost it.
 

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"Because I wasn't thinking"

yeah......no kidding.
 

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I worker with a retired Army Sgt E8 back in the 70's. He was @ the Battalion level in Vietnam. He had heard hundreds of excuses from the enlisted for one thing or another. He finally took the stand. If you wanted to be excused your reason had to be one he had never heard before. Said they made up the all kinds. :laugh: Wish I could remember some :unknown:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I worker with a retired Army Sgt E8 back in the 70's. He was @ the Battalion level in Vietnam. He had heard hundreds of excuses from the enlisted for one thing or another. He finally took the stand. If you wanted to be excused your reason had to be one he had never heard before. Said they made up the all kinds. :laugh: Wish I could remember some :unknown:
Hurry up...:lol:
 

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Or 4 or 5 younguns' all chiming in at once with "not me". :banghead:
I'm still trying to find "wasn't me" in my house. He's very sneaky, even the video cameras can't catch him.:laugh: His accomplices are I don't know, not me, and someone else.
 

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I'm still trying to find "wasn't me" in my house. He's very sneaky, even the video cameras can't catch him.:laugh: His accomplices are I don't know, not me, and someone else.
I assume Wasn't Me is the first cousin to our Not Me. That Me family is bad news
 

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We had a new guy work 3 days. Called in and said he got lost and couldn't find his way to work.
Another new girl showed up late 4 days in a row. First time she said her car wouldn't start, second time she thought start time started at the gate out front, third time sick kid, fourth time she just lost track of time. They told her not to come back.
 

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A cop finally pulled a car over after a high speed chase. The cop came up to the driver, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
 

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Not sure if this really fits the theme of the thread but it is a funny cop story. A cop pulls over a woman who was doing 70mph in a 45mph zone. He gets up to the driver's window and can see she is all dolled up. He asks for license, registration and proof of insurance. He then returns back to his car. About 5 minutes later he is back at her window where he hands her a ticket for doing 25 over the limit. She begins to cry and asks, "I thought cops don't give purity girls tickets." The officer calmly replies, "I don't, have a good day."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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A cop finally pulled a car over after a high speed chase. The cop came up to the driver, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
That's what I'm talken' about . . . . . :lolol::lolol:
 

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Not sure if this really fits the theme of the thread but it is a funny cop story. A cop pulls over a woman who was doing 70mph in a 45mph zone. He gets up to the driver's window and can see she is all dolled up. He asks for license, registration and proof of insurance. He then returns back to his car. About 5 minutes later he is back at her window where he hands her a ticket for doing 25 over the limit. She begins to cry and asks, "I thought cops don't give purity girls tickets." The officer calmly replies, "I don't, have a good day."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

A friend of mine is an officer for a metro area here in TN and that exact situation happened to him. Pulled over a lady for speeding, she used the "I thought you don't give pretty girls tickets" line. He replied just like your post, "We don't" and handed her the ticket. :laugh::laugh:


The young lady filed an official complaint with the department, and his supervisor had the dash cam tape from that incident for years. Always good for a laugh. :lol:
 
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