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"Slower than a possum in the road"

"You don't have to run faster than the bear, just faster than the other guy!"
 

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Never buy anything you can borrow.
"If you have to borrow it more than twice, then you need to buy one." - Some guy I used to work with in a Tool & Die shop.




"She's cuter than a speckled pup!" - A down-home guy that I used to work for in a mower shop.
 

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If you don’t want guys staring at your butt, don’t wear yoga pants
This reminds me of a time several years ago at a grocery store. This girl had white yoga pants and a hot pink cut off sweatshirt, God was very good to her, everything was exactly where it belonged and very well put together. In the produce section I got an evil glare from her, then awhile later I ran into her again in another isle, there were a couple of other guys there as well. This time she turns to two of them and says, "what is it with you guys", and he said those exact words to her.

On a side note, she failed to see his point or any humor in it. :lol:
 

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"If you have to borrow it more than twice, then you need to buy one." - Some guy I used to work with in a Tool & Die shop.




"She's cuter than a speckled pup!" - A down-home guy that I used to work for in a mower shop.
If it has an engine and runs, no you can’t borrow it
True story-
When I built my house, there was a younger couple who moved into another house nearby, and one day while I was outside doing whatever, this guy comes walking down my driveway. He’s got a latte in one hand and a small bundle of firewood in the other ( there’s places here will sell these small bundles for campers ). I’ve never met him before, and in a nice way, I say to him “Why did you pay for that wood? I got plenty and you can take some”. He looks at me and says he has nothing to cut wood with and can he use my chainsaw. I said “ Why would I lend my chainsaw to a total stranger?” I kinda took it lightly, but he looked at me seriously and said he was the new neighbor and just trying to be neighborly. Now, he’s on a lot with a lot of deadwood like mine, and is out buying firewood because he doesn’t have a saw. A couple days later, I see him, and walk out and hand him an ax that I don’t use much, and say he can borrow it. That’s how you do neighborly. He thanks me like a starving child, and walks off, leaving me wondering if I’ll ever see my axe again. The very next day, he’s out there with a chorded pole saw trying to buck up 6” buckskins.
 

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If it has an engine and runs, no you can’t borrow it
That's one of my biggest rules, I'll help anybody in the neighborhood with the tractor or chainsaws, but I'm the one running them.

Shortly after getting our Mule my neighbor asked if he could borrow it. This guy has been through countless riding mowers, four wheelers, push mowers, snowmobiles and vehicles in the 14 years they have lived next to us.
I told him politely "no, you're pretty tough on things"
He seemed offended :lol: hell, I thought he knew. :dunno:
 

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"If you have to borrow it more than twice, then you need to buy one." - Some guy I used to work with in a Tool & Die shop.




"She's cuter than a speckled pup!" - A down-home guy that I used to work for in a mower shop.

"She's cuter than a speckled pup!"...under a red wagon!
 

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True story-
When I built my house, there was a younger couple who moved into another house nearby, and one day while I was outside doing whatever, this guy comes walking down my driveway. He’s got a latte in one hand and a small bundle of firewood in the other ( there’s places here will sell these small bundles for campers ). I’ve never met him before, and in a nice way, I say to him “Why did you pay for that wood? I got plenty and you can take some”. He looks at me and says he has nothing to cut wood with and can he use my chainsaw. I said “ Why would I lend my chainsaw to a total stranger?” I kinda took it lightly, but he looked at me seriously and said he was the new neighbor and just trying to be neighborly. Now, he’s on a lot with a lot of deadwood like mine, and is out buying firewood because he doesn’t have a saw. A couple days later, I see him, and walk out and hand him an ax that I don’t use much, and say he can borrow it. That’s how you do neighborly. He thanks me like a starving child, and walks off, leaving me wondering if I’ll ever see my axe again. The very next day, he’s out there with a chorded pole saw trying to buck up 6” buckskins.
When I bought my house in the 'burbs back in '96, the next door neighbor came over while we were finishing moving stuff in to introduce himself. Then he started eating the pizza that my (now-ex-)MIL had bought for us! :nunu: A few days later he comes over and says something about me giving me a key to my shed. :unknown: I said why would you need a key to my shed? He said that the previous owner gave him a key in case he needed to borrow anything. I said if you need to borrow anything you will come ask me first - you aren't getting a key to my shed. My home office in that house opened up to a screened in porch. I'd have the windows open during nice weather and he'd come over during my workday to "chat". After a couple of times, I had to get pretty firm with him and tell him that even though I was home, I was WORKING AT MY JOB!

We decided to put up a fence to keep the dog and kids in the yard. The fence guy came over and we jokingly suggested that we wanted an 8' privacy fence on that part of the yard and a 4' picket fence along the rest. :laugh: We ended up going with picket all the way around. A month or so later I get invited to go to the Noon Optimists meeting by the neighbor and he introduces me there. Turns out the fence guy was an Optimist and was there. After the meeting he comes up to me and says "If I had known that was the neighbor you were talking about I would have insisted on that 8' privacy fence!" :laugh: I sure like like not living in the 'burbs any more!!

After I moved out here my ex-wife stayed in that house for a while. We had a huge storm come through and a tree went down from that property on to that neighbor's property. I called a tree guy that I knew to come clear it off both properties ASAP even though I wasn't legally obligated to do so. All the houses in that neighborhood suffered a lot of roof and siding damage and that house suffered to the tune of about $25k! I turned in part of the tree removal to the insurance company and it turned out that the neighbor and I both had USAA. Found out that he also was compensated for clearing the debris from that tree. I asked him to be reimbursed and.... crickets.

Which brings us back to the topic of the thread... "Words of Wisdom" -

No good deed goes unpunished! :mocking:
 

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I'm surpried nobody quoted "The Duke" yet...

So, here's one, plus a couple more eye openers.
 

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One I came up with

Never buy anything you can borrow.
Once you have borrowed it, don't get confused thinking you bought it......I have some neighbors who tend to have that issue. They called the other night and asked to borrow our very nice and rather expensive ($800+) commercial carpet cleaner. Knowing their house isn't as clean as my barn and not wanting to subject our machine to the experience, Mrs. Bear is shaking her head "NO" nearly violently as the neighbor is asking on the speaker phone. So, my wife says "I am really sorry, I loaned it to my sister and she hasn't returned it and they are out of town."

The neighbor said "Do you have keys to their house where you could just go and get it?" That's pretty ballsy.....I replied, "You can rent one down at the store", to which she replied "But then I have to use it right away and get it back or it costs me extra. I wanted to use it as I had time...."

Then I recalled they have a "Rug Doctor", a decent cleaner and asked why she didn't use that. "The movers already packed it and its a hassle to get it back out."

So, its not a hassle for me to drop what I am doing and drive across town and pick up the carpet cleaner and bring it back and loan it to the neighbor and then likely struggle to get it back and when it does come back it will be dirty, the brushes gunked up and the tanks and lines not all rinsed out, which I will then have to do this as we won't use it any other way. But it is a hassle for her to dig the one they own out of the box it's packed into.......or its a hassle to have to pay for the machine when you rent it.

Some people really are amazingly cheap and lazy......oh, by the way, our carpet cleaner is in the laundry room closet, right where its going to stay until we use it...............I don't need it coming back from the neighbors dirty house with bed bugs or who knows what.........
 

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Neither a beggar nor borrower be.

I don't loan things to people. I don't borrow things from people. I don't ask people to help me with things. I don't often help others with things. I never feel taken advantage of...
 

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Beg, borrow or help

Neither a beggar nor borrower be.

I don't loan things to people. I don't borrow things from people. I don't ask people to help me with things. I don't often help others with things. I never feel taken advantage of...
I usually don't borrow anything from anybody, lend only to a very, very small group of people but will help neighbors as much as I can. Need a tree cut up? Sure, I'll help when I have time using my saws. Want to borrow my saws? Nope, not gonna happen.

1) If someone gets hurt with my saw, it's my fault.
2) If they use my saw, they are probably going to do something with it or to it that I don't like and then I'll be POed instead of neighborly.
3) If they don't have a saw, they probably aren't very experienced using one. My saws aren't homeowner saws for the most part and they do require a certain amount of knowledge and strength to deal with them. (Funny thing, the older I get the more I like smaller saws but sometimes you just need enough saw.)
4) If I'm cutting up your tree for free, it's up to you to move the brush and wood unless you are old, sick or incapable of doing it. If you are in those categories, I'll certainly do what I can to help out. If you are lazy, trifling or drunk I'll give you the name of some companies that will do it for you.

Treefarmer
 

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Orders do not constitute intelligence!
 

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Satchel Paige

Amongst all the angry words and charges of racism being thrown around today, I remembered that Satchel Paige had a few great quotes.

One of my favorites: ""Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter." This was from a man who became a major league rookie at age 42.

Another one: "Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common."

A whole list is at: The Official Satchel Paige Quote Page

Treefarmer
 

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Forgiveness

Sometimes, the first step towards forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.
 
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